I wish I was more comfortable taking chances. I take them constantly, but I wish I felt confident or at least a little less stomach-churning-anxious about them. I don't even mean big chances. I mean all the little ones you take every day. Emailing someone and being unsure of their reply. Trying a new food. Taking scissors to your bangs for an impromptu trim. It all stirs up my anxieties and makes me uneasy.
All this to say.. I took a chance this month that I was so nervous about I almost threw up the day I did it. I feel like most people are going to stop reading when I say this but... I started a Patreon. Please stay for a second! I think the word "patreon" scares everyone off. But you don't have to support it, I just want to talk about what that experience has been like for me.
I honestly, truly, 100% did not expect to have one single patron. I'm not entirely sure why, but I have a very low opinion of my online self worth, and I don't really think anyone genuinely likes me or my work. I do get some sales in my shop here and there, and I do still get some blog traffic, but my brain always tricks me into thinking that I'm kind of washed up as a blogger and artist, and no one cares. Or that because my shop has been declining and my blog traffic has decreased, that has somehow erased *all* sales and *all* traffic, which isn't true. Anyway. I went into the Patreon assured that nobody would support it. But then some people did! By some magic miracle I have 26 patrons. I am flabbergasted.
If you are one of those 26 people who has thrown support my way this month, you literally have no idea, NO IDEA, what you have done for me. Although the patreon was really meant to help prop up my waning income, it's done more for my mental well being than I could put into words. I feel so supported and even though I'm not a hugger I just want to wrap all of you up in a big snuggly bear hug!! To know that there are people out there who like my work and want to support it and help me to keep doing what I'm doing... I just don't have the words. Thank you.
To anyone who is thinking about taking a chance like this - just do it. Even if it makes you want to throw up from anxiety. If I didn't take a chance and put myself out there, I'd never have known the warmth of support that I feel now. I think that I've taken less and less chances ever since my career started sliding because I get more and more afraid of what I assume will be certain failure. But maybe that's when we NEED to take more chances.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Like I said, you absolutely do not need to support my patreon. If you are reading this blog, I appreciate that so much! Views and IG likes and Twitter retweets, everything is a form of support. But, if you *do* want to support my patreon, you can click here. I've been sharing time lapses of my drawings, my one-second-a-day videos, sneak peeks at new products, a video of my trip to DC with my family, free printable art prints, and more. Plus all $5+ pledges will get a hand-written thank you note and a free sticker! I send out all pledge rewards on the first of each month so if you sign up after April 1st, the next mailing date will be May. Just saying ;)